You Expect Me to Carry What?!

Some of the most fascinating people of Peru are the llamas. I know full well that llamas are not people. However, I cannot help but think of these expressive creatures in human terms.

At the beginning of the Lares trek, I met the llamas who would carry our camping supplies on their backs. If they could talk, they would have bluntly stated that we were despicable, odious creatures who should darn well take our own supplies and shove them . . . well, you get the idea.

The looks they gave us! They didn't even try to conceal their disgust--or how put out they were by the fact that they had to hike instead of lying in front of a television set watching old episodes of Alf.

Now, a more paranoid person might start to think these sinister animals were talking . . . like elderly church ladies, they hovered together in a tight circle of gossip, casting disproving glances our way.

At first glance, you may observe (photo 1) a happy couple with some harmless llamas in the background. In reality, only a rope separated Rod and I from death by trampling. We were not calm and collected when this photograph was snapped: rather, we feared for our lives. Only moments later, the white llama realize that he could step over the rope, and he led a revolt.

Now, not all llamas are rabblerousers. In fact, at the top of Machu Picchu, I met one individual who appeared to be more than happy to pose with me (photo 2). A naive glance may lead to the conclusion that we were two kindred spirits appreciating the wondrous achievements of the Incas. However, this kind sir was merely tolerating my existence, recognizing the effort it would take to blot my kind from existence.

They're out there. And it's only a matter of time before they get off their lazy haunches and take over the world . . .